The standout phrase from yesterday's class is, "it is important to me because it is important to you." This is where the Christian marriage should have an advantage. At the center of Christian doctrine is to make sacrifices for others. Believers consider the second greatest command to be, “love your neighbor as yourself.” How is it then that Christians struggle to love their spouse as themselves? It comes down to the choice to devalue the other person.
In Hope Focused Marriage Counseling, Dr. Worthington defines love as “being willing to value the other person and being unwilling to devalue that person” (xxix). There are numerous passages that speak to the value of the individual (the parables of Luke 15 come to mind).
When we value another person equal to ourselves it becomes apparent in our speech, actions, use of time, etc. What that person values becomes important to us. Differences in values are expected and accepted. Conflicts will occur but they will take on a different tone… more on this when we get to the lesson on conflict resolution.
Some questions to consider (and maybe respond to here). Why is it so hard to accept and respect another person’s values? Where do our values come from? Do our values change over time? How do we work out differences in our core values?
Worthington, E.L. (1999). Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press.
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