Ongoing Marriage Series

I like to combine things when I can.  It might be a little bit of a lazy streak but I like to simplify life as much as possible.  My sermon a couple of Sunday's ago was based on an assigned reading task for school.  Due to a busy schedule I have not been able to blog.  SO, I am going to blog about marriage as a supplement to my Sunday morning marriage class.  I hope to generate discussion with people who are outside of our class (and comments from those in the class are welcome too).  I am doing this so I can blog but not put extra thought into it.  Hope you don't feel cheated.

So, today we talked about relationships sinking into an automatic mode.  This tends to take the form of mutual tasks (ex. she wakes and feeds the kids while he feeds and walks the dog).  When life transitions these and roles change (kids move out so what does she do now?) it can be a problem if our relationship is founded on such things.  We need to have value beyond the tasks we perform for each other.  Dr. Larry Crabb says that people are trying to fill 2 basic needs.  A need for security (safety, love and belonging) and a need for significance (usefulness, purpose, a reason to live beyond self).  Ultimately, Dr. Crabb says these needs are met in God through Christ.  However, are security and significance values we have in our relationship?  A wife might ask, "would he still love me is I didn't feed him every day?"  A husband might ask, "Would she still love me if I didn't take out the trash?"  Security and significance are vital aspects to a healthy marriage.  Chances are he wants to feel significant in the relationship and she wants to feel secure.

Crabb, L.J. (1977). Effective biblical counseling: A model for helping caring Christians become capable counselors. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.