Sleepless in Dover

I am unable to sleep and wanted to blog in order to empty my head a little.You wouldn't know this unless I told you, but this is the fourth blog I have written tonight.  The first blog I wrote was a bitter commentary about everything wrong with the world.  It was an anger dump.  Is that really me?  No, it was just how I felt.  I deleted it.  The second post was an indirect response subtly making arguements against those who argued with me.  I read over the words and saw how I was trying desperately to be justified from a source other than God.  It would have felt so good to publish that post and show the internet world (ok, my small band of readers) how right I was and by doing so prove to myself how wrong those accusations were.  Am I the type of person who needs to prove their rightness?  I don't want to be.  Telling you this makes me feel childish and humbled as it should.  I deleted that post.  Honestly, I can't remember what the third post was really about.  After reading it I decided it didn't accurately reflect me either so I deleted it.  Before writing this post I reminded myself that joy is my choice.  It is a tough choice.  Doesn't seem like it would be.  If given the choice of joy or miserable grumblings you would think most people would choose joy.  I had to fight to get myself to choose joy.  So, now that you that you have the back ground information here is my self reminder to be joyful:

• I do not have to be perfect because God is for me
• My wife and children are here, happy and healthy
• Dexter loves me no matter what
• I live in a nice, warm home
• Pasta
• I have never known real physical hunger or thirst
• I'm healthy
• God has allowed me to know some of the greatest people
• Love
• James 2:1-4 and 2 Corinthian 6:4-10,

  My closing thought- I win.  Satan threw some pretty good material my way today, but I win.  I almost didn't choose joy but this is who I am... joyful.