My kids started the Christmas countdown a few days ago.  OK, maybe I started it when I excitedly said, "Just 10 days till Christmas!"  Since then every morning has seen my children checking the calender and doing the subtraction on their little fingers.  Now, it is less than a week till Christmas and I feel the pressure.  I don't feel pressure about shopping, or decorating because that is done.  I'm not concerned about wrapping because Amanda does that.  My concern is that I have less than a week to use this season to teach them what I want them to know.

First, I concede the battle that Christmas is all about gifts.  There is no way I can change that focus.  However, why fight it when it is true.  Christmas is all about gifts.  Free gifts.  Great gifts.  God gave us the gift of His presence on earth.  He gave us the gift of humility in lowering himself to the position of a human baby born in a stable and placed in a feed trough.  The gift of His divine example came next.  Of course ending in the gift of salvation.  Great gifts.  Free gifts.  Christmas is all about gifts.

Second, the fact that we can buy trees, decorations, and gifts means that we are rich.  Wealthy beyond the imagination of most of the world.  We can throw away wrappings, throw away cards, and even throw away a tree.  We are so greatly blessed.  I get as much a sense of thankfulness this time of year as I do at Thanksgiving.  I want my girls to feel that too.  Moreover, I want our wealth to inspire a sense of generosity within them.  Out of abundance we give.  If I have extra, then I share.  The proper contrast for our wealth is to give to those less fortunate.  Bells ringing at stores are a reminder that there is ample opportunity to give this time of year.  Each of my girls has selected one person (someone we feel is deserving) to give a tin of cookies to.  Why?  Because we are rich and blessed enough to share.

Finally, I want my children to know that Christmas is about worship.  We celebrate God and this is worship.  Loving family, giving, being generous, and thinking about the gift of Jesus is worship.  I want them to know the songs they hear (minus the one about grandma getting run over by the reindeer) are hymns of worship.  The world is worshipping whether they even know it or not.  Worship can be fun.  Worship can happen every day of the week.  As we count down each day we are recognizing a day of worship culminating in a great celebration of God.  What else would you call it when you hear "Joy to the world, the Lord has come" being sung on the radio, and in the streets, and from your children.  It is nothing less than glorious worship.

Can We Talk?

"Can we talk?"  Sometimes these words can make your hear skip a few beats.  When a person feels the need to ask permission to communicate it usually means something serious is coming.  So, when my 7 year old came to me saying, "Daddy, can I talk to you?" I felt a heart palpitation.  Now, there is not much a 7 year old can do to get into serious trouble, but I still felt worry.  Moreover, I was in the middle of cooking dinner and the other two kiddos were fighting over a toy in the background.  However, instead of putting her off until dinner was finished, or reacting with worry, I simply scooped her up and sat her on the counter and said, "Let's talk."  Tears started flowing and she told me about not having someone to play with at recess.  To you or me that seems minor... but to her it was a BIG deal.  So, I listened, I nodded, I got her a tissue, and I hugged her.  That was it.  No advice giving, no lectures.  My hope is that this interaction teachers her that someday she can talk to me about boys, or what to do when friends are drinking, or how to say "no" when she needs to. 

Today I had lunch with a good friend.  We talked about how too many churches sell God as something far less than He is.  Our God is not only Lord and creator, but He is also ready to listen to us at anytime.  There is no topic too trivial and He is never too busy to listen.  Moreover, He can empathize with us.  Not just direct us, or admonish us, but empathize.  That encourages me to go to Him with my issues more and more.

I'm SAHD

As some of you already know there is a change at our house.  My wife has started working full time allowing me to finish my degree requirements (namely an 800 internship).  This means I am now SAHD (stay at home dad).  In fact today is my first day in this role.  I will admit that I was a bit apprehensive about the switch.  I assumed that not being the provider, not having a title, no sense of accomplishment or contribution etc. would have a negative impact on me. 

Then the Spirit spoke to me in the way that he often does- via scripture.  As I prepared for my first day the words of Colossians 3:23 ran through my head repeatedly, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men."  A new revelation came over me.  I am as much a provider as I was in my career (maybe more so).  Now I provide structure, discipline, education, and guidance.  I have many titles including tutor, mentor, chef, (ok, and maid...better yet butler).  As far as a sense of accomplishment I have done more by 12:00 today than I did in a typical work day.  That's ok though- this job comes with a scheduled nap time.  My contribution is to my wife and children.  So, I approach this new role with a positive attitude (which is what the Spirit intended no doubt).  I am working at this as unto the Lord.  I will keep you posted.

A Christian Response to Tahrir Square

Amnesty International and the United Nations now recognize the inhumane treatment of protesters in Tahrir square.  Protesters are met with tear gas at best, many have been shot and killed at worst.  While the military leaders claim they are using non-lethal methods the blood in the streets says otherwise.  For more official news reports see http://www.almasryalyoum.com/en/node/517749 or http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-15849285. 

So, how does a Christian respond to the events of Tahrir Square (or any similar uprising)?  Being people of the Bible we turn to I Peter chapter 2 and read in verses 13 and 14 that we, "submit to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right."  This seems simple enough until you get to verse 16 which says, "Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God."  How do the people of Egypt live free while submitting to the military rule?  The responsibility lies with the protesters.  Demonstrations need to be peaceful in nature giving no hint of wrong doing.  Look at our verses again.  Freedom cannot be used as a cover-up for evil.  Exercising the right of free speech and demonstration should not be used as an excuse to create dissension and stir mobs. 

What does this look like in action...refusing to participate in any type of violence demonstrating peacefully for the right to elect leaders even in the midst of tear gas and bullets.  This is the ultimate example of turning the other cheek.  I urge believers to pray for the courage and self-control required of these protesters to ensure peaceful resolution.  Pray for freedom in Egypt and that sinful corruption and ego driven power grabs will not result in more violence.  Finally, consider what application this has to your own life.  How do you peacefully submit to authority even in the face of great personal loss? 
   

Sacrifice- Marriage Series Conclusion

The Declaration of Independence states that people are "...created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights..."  It is true that people are equal.  There is no divine special privilege for one group of peoples over another.  Let me take this a step farther.  Sinners and saved are equal.  Christians, Muslims, Jews, and atheists are equal.  If we truly believe the Roman letter when it tells us that "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" then we believe that all are equal spiritually.  This is not to say that all worship (or lack worship) legitimately nor does it mean all are saved (I am not a universalist).  However, it is to say that there are no favorites among God's children (creation).  This explains why blessings come to the sinful and the saints.

Sacrifice is choosing to give up rights.  This is different than not knowing rights.  Fools do not know their rights.  Mature Christians know their rights and choose to lay them down for the sake of another.  The Declaration of Independence specifically mentions our rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Christ allowed himself to be arrested giving up his liberty, was sentenced to death giving up his life, making his happiness about our salvation.

I want to end my marriage series with this definition of sacrifice.  When I can give up my claims to rights for the sake of my spouse, then I will have a truly Godly partnership.  When wronged I have the right to complain and seek restitution.  Understanding equality and knowing the value of sacrifice means I may never claim those rights.  This is where Christian maturity results in a more satisfying relationship.

Intimacy in Marriage- Marriage Series Continued

As our class progresses through Worthington's (1999) 9 C's of marriage we come to "Closeness" (p.60).  I would instead like to call this "closed-ness" because the image of a closed circle comes to mind when discussing intimacy.  It is the emotional, intellectual, and physcial interactions that are exclusive to the relationship.  In other words there are thoughts, feelings, and actions to be kept inside the closed circle of the relationship to achieve intimacy.  

Intellectual intimacy refers to the shared thought life of a couple.  There is information that is to be kept between a couple and not shared with those outside the relationship.  A spouse can feel deeply hurt and betrayed when private information is carelessly shared.

Emotional intimacy refers to those feelings which should be reserved for your spouse.  Feelings of romantic love or feelings of lust/arousal should never be fostered outside of the marriage relationship.  Intimacy is broken when such feelings stray outside the closed circle.

Physical intimacy refers to the actions meant to be shared by a married couple.  This can be much more than intercourse.  Intimate touches such as massaging or handholding outside of the marriage can destroy intimacy in the marriage.

Breaking the inner circle of intimacy can happen in two ways.  Outside influences attacking the circle can diminish intimacy.  This can include the distraction of work, hobbies, friends, children, etc.  Anything that prevents a couple from developing their relationship in privacy (without distraction).  Couples need to be purposeful in protecting intimacy and setting time aside to develop their inner circle.  The other threat to intimcay is from the inside and tends to be much more damaging.  When a spouse breaks the circle taking things that ought to be kept inside the relationship outside.  Examples would be a wife who shares private information with girlfriends, or a husband who is flirting with a coworker.

How should couples respond?  Form the habit of setting aside time for one another.  Recognize distractions and agree on how best to deal with them.  Honor intimacy and be diligent to defend it in your marriage.  Read Proverbs 5:15-17 and consider the implications of this passage in your marriage.

Worthington, E.L. (1999). Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling: A Guide to Brief Therapy. Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity.  

Violence Against Christians

I want to take a break from my marriage series to comment on the events in Egypt.  On October 9th twenty-one Christians were killed by the Egyptian military who currently have power in Egypt.  Reports say that they were killed by being run over by armoured vehicles or were shot with live ammunition (as opposed to the non-lethal riot gear that is available).  These Christians were part of a protest march responding to a church being destroyed earlier that year.  This weekend hundreds marched (without incident) in remembrance of those killed.

How should we respond to such incidents?  Perhaps our first response is to place blame and point fingers toward growing Islamic extremism.  This is often the first response I hear.  However, the recent march in remembrance of the slain Christians included Muslims who are calling for unity.  There are those within the Islamic community who realize that violence is not the right answer.  Moreover, too many Christians are quick to point the finger and call for retaliation.  Is this a Christian response.  Is this truly following the man who said, "Blessed are the peacemakers." 

News reports say that the military regime in charge in Egypt is trying to stir religious tension.  Such tension will allow militant leaders to maintain control and will derail the progress of democracy in that country.  They understand that religious tolerance (the kind granted in our First Amendment) will ruin their militant rule.  There is a lot we could learn from what is happening in Egypt.

Sources:

Washington Post
Constitution